Generosity
As usual, we talked about spirituality and my own faith. Jason asked what Jesus meant to me. It took me a moment to think this question through. I have started going to church again since I came here to Yale after not going throughout most of middle school and high school. As a result, I am very much just starting to earnestly develop spiritually. To me, Jesus represents living not to gain for yourself but living for others.
Jason said that truly living for others is extremely challenging for all of us. We view generosity as a positive virtue and we try to be generous when we can. We sometimes casually equate generosity with selflessness; however, is being generous the same as being selfless? I have been thinking about this question for a long time now. This semester, I have been taking the Generosity section of English 114. On the first day of class, our professor asked us about what we define an act of generosity as. At the end of the discussion we had three different and apparently conflicting definitions:
- A selfless act of generosity - the form of generosity we idealize. We give without receiving anything in return.
- A "selfish" act of generosity - we give but we get something out of it. For example, we volunteer and it makes us "feel good about ourselves."
- A selfish act of generosity - the form of generosity we usually frown upon. We give in order to receive something in return.
After reading Mauss's The Gift and several other literatures, our class still felt that each of the three above definitions define generosity. However, we came to the general consensus that all gifts prompt reciprocation because we give to enhance solidarity in some way. As a result, we inherently have selfish motivations behind our acts of generosity.
In any event, I was reminded of what we had discussed in English that day. We discussed the idealized form of generosity of the first definition: "a selfless act of generosity," in other words, a free gift.
Free gifts
We had a discussion in English that day, right before lunch actually, about free gifts and our class once again came to the conclusion that a free gift, a gift that results in no reciprocation whatsoever, is mostly nonexistent because after reading Mauss, Bourdieu, Veblen, and many others, we were ultimately ingrained with the principle of a cycle of reciprocity. A gift causes reciprocation which eventually strives to enhance solidarity. A free gift is not reciprocated and therefore does not enhance solidarity. Before the discussion, I have talked to other people about whether or not generosity can be purely selfless (our class concluded that it cannot) and I've gotten mixed opinions.
Jason told me that in most cases, it is not possible to be generous and not have any selfish motivations at all. However, it is yet possible, though sometimes difficult, to be generous and purely selfless in intention.
"Only with the Holy Spirit working through us, may we be able to really give a free gift."
Jason made a point that I feel is very true and reconciling. It is possible to be completely selfless. "We have seen Jesus give a free gift, and we may also be able to give free gifts by learning from Him."
We place the concept of generosity in very high regard. We see philanthropy, charity, serving one's community, are all very honorable virtues because they are very honorable acts. But even so, today, sometimes, we do things that can be considered "generous" but are motivated by selfish intent. This is why despite the millions of dollars that wealthy philanthropists donate, many of them they actually donate to the cultural institutions that in turn benefit them rather than to charity organizations that aid the poor. On a more familiar level, looking back, I do see that part of my motivation behind all the community service I did back in high school was that my service would eventually look good on college applications. As a semi-random sidenote, the username that I commonly use right now, Alltruist, was a product of those high school years.
Selfishness is a human trait. Although it is not necessarily wrong for one to benefit from generosity, it is questionable if one is generous solely or even mostly in order to gain for oneself. Then again, there's the ends vs. means argument. What counts more: the end result of generosity or the means and motives of generosity? This is more or less an open question and the answer varies depending on viewpoints and cultural backgrounds.
In any event, it is extremely difficult to really be purely selfless, to perform an act of generosity and accept the fact that there will be no reciprocation. It is possible to learn from Jesus when he gave the ultimate free gift, but then again, we're still human. However, we can definitely come close by placing God above all of our worldly desires in our hearts.
To live for others
Looking back upon my pre-college years, I do realize that I have been largely living for myself. Most of the time, I was preoccupied with getting good grades, entering leadership positions, participating in all kinds of activities, all in order to appear good and "well-rounded" when come college admissions. Certainly, I did try to be the best person I could be and help others whenever I could. With all modesty, I admit did eventually end up as "the popular valedictorian," but in any case, my "popularity" was largely due to my academics as my focus was on that and not on the social scene.
Since coming here, I've decided to try to "begin anew" and be who I really am rather than conform to the image others had of me as I have had to do before. However, though in theory this works but old habits are still there. I have found that one impression that I tend to make is that I am a quiet or even "pensive" person. To an extent this is true. I tend to not talk very much, and when I am not talking, probably due to my demeanor, I appear to be pondering something when I am actually not. In any case, my quietness partly due to my lack of effort to advance myself socially and partly due to my self-absorption during my high school years. I have noticed in my conversations that I am quite passive. I don't really ask questions. I don't make enough of an effort to get to know others. Also, there are many people who I see on quite a regular basis that I don't really know as well as I perhaps should.
In any event, this is all part of living less simply for myself and more for others and caring about others. It is a difficult change to make fully, but then again, is a common challenge. At the same time, I have to be able to place God above my own worldly priorities and desires. Only then would I truly be able to "live for others." I do see the progress that I have made since I came here. But in any event, there is a long way to go. It is all part of the constant process of growing. There is so much to learn every step along the way.
In any event, this is all part of living less simply for myself and more for others and caring about others. It is a difficult change to make fully, but then again, is a common challenge. At the same time, I have to be able to place God above my own worldly priorities and desires. Only then would I truly be able to "live for others." I do see the progress that I have made since I came here. But in any event, there is a long way to go. It is all part of the constant process of growing. There is so much to learn every step along the way.
